


You'll Make A Fine Ninja Doctor Someday

by Kirkeyressa



Category: Transformers Animated (2007), Transformers: Prime
Genre: (some art by me at the end), Art, Body Swap, Canon-Typical Violence, Character swap, Crossover, Humor, Multi, Multiverse shit but in a general sense, like the thing that happens in freaky friday i cant find the tag???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:08:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirkeyressa/pseuds/Kirkeyressa
Summary: Prowl and Knockout switch bodies (and universes)! As they retain communication with each other, they have to work together to find a way to get back home, and back into their, uh, selves.
Comments: 55
Kudos: 118





	1. Spacebridge Machine Broke

**Author's Note:**

> One day I'll write a fanfic that isn't a crossover...
> 
> (all art by me unless specified)

“Knockout! How are the readings?” 

The doctor sighed, typing out a new query for the scrambled coordinates. “Still as wavering as ever, Starscream, just like the last five times you asked…”

Starscream drew closer to Knockout's station, inspecting his work with apathy and disdain. "Well, fix it faster, then!"

"If the Autobots are having the same problem, as evidenced by Soundwave's recon mission, I don't see what the rush is…" Said Knockout.

"The rush, _doctor,_ is that they could outpace us in finding a solution!"

Knockout laughed. "With their equipment? It'll take them years…"

Starscream turned around with a snarl. "If you want to delay operations, then I'm sure Megatron would love to hear about it!"

"Now, now, that's not what I said." He mumbled to himself. "Just that some people should really get off my carburetor about all of this…"

\----- -

"Prowl! How we doin'?" Bumblebee yelled from the foot of the space bridge.

" 'We doing' not very well, Bumblebee.” Prowl answered, perched on the top arch of the space bridge gate. “But I think Bulkhead could tell you more about that than I can."

Bumblebee gave the portion he was working on a slap. "Ha! How does it feel to be outsmarted by the small town clunker, ninja-bot?!"

Prowl's optics weren't very visible under his visor, but he narrowed them anyway. "I never had any interest in space bridge technology, so why would I be jealous that someone is better at it than me?"

The intercom sounded off. "Maybe you'd consider medic-bot work, then."

"You're still on about that, Ratchet?" Prowl answered, while tightening a bolt on a panel as best he could.

"Putting all of that aside, Prowl… This space bridge malfunction, I don't know what it could mean for us. And if someone gets hurt, I'll need a helping servo, one that isn't busy with other things, and one that isn't Bumblebee."

The bolt squeaked as it grinded on the metal panel beneath it. "You really think someone could get hurt?"

"Well, so far all we've seen is rapidly switching coordinate numbers, which just means a bot would get stranded…"

Prowl grinned. "Just that? How reassuring."

Ratchet kept going. "But if the distortions mean something worse, or if one of us lands in a less than ideal location… I'll need someone to help."

"Preparing for the worse?"

Prowl heard the doctor sigh over the comm line. "Call it an old bot's intuition..."

\- -- - --

"The sound… It's still there." Shockwave said, in front of the whirling spacebridge portal.

"It's better than what we had yesterday. And look!" Knockout pointed at his workstation, at some numbers on the screen. "The coordinates have finally stabilized!" The doctor put his hand on Shockwave's shoulder. "If anything, I'd say that what you're hearing is the sound of progress."

Shockwave walked away, never one for humor, physical contact, or anything remotely pleasant.

Starscream was also near, contemplating the entrance. "It would at least be… Safe enough for a test." He turned his head towards Knockout.

Knockout carried a hand to his cheek. "Why, Mr. Starscream, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you want me to go right into the unstable space bridge portal!"

"You're the one singing its praises, it's only fitting that you go in!" He pointed at it for emphasis.

“Send a vehicon in, that’s what they’re here for!” 

Starscream rolled his eyes. “You!” He pointed at the nearest trooper next to the bridge. “Go in there, look around, and report what you see when you come back.”

The selected vehicon nodded and turned into his car alt mode, disappearing into the pulsating gate.

What a strange fate the vehicons had landed themselves in, getting torn apart day in and day out, and getting rebuilt like it was nothing, as per their strange spark's capabilities… But whatever spared Knockout the risk didn't really deserve more dwelling on. Besides, the vehicon returned within barely a minute, completely unscathed.

He turned back into his robot mode, in front of Starscream.

"Well?" Urged the ever patient second in command. "What did you see?"

"An earth coastline, sir, with some steep cliffs." The vehicon responded. "Nothing abnormal beyond that."

"Does it match the location listed, Knockout?"

"The vacation to the picturesque Normandy beaches was an astounding success, indeed." Knockout gestured towards a stored picture of the dramatic cliff drops. "And the coordinate numbers remain the same. I dare even say that our little problem is fixed."

Starscream placed his hand on his chest. "And all under my supervision! Megatron will be very pleased…"

"Can I go for a drive, then?" Knockout asked, after having imputed his own chosen location.

 _"Now_ you wish to use the space bridge?"

A shrug from the doctor. "Well, yes, since it works."

Some thought was given to this by his commander. "Fine, you can go." Starscream waved a dismissive hand at the doctor.

Knockout didn't wait around, driving into the familiar swirling green plasma.

\- -o. - -#

“The coordinates haven’t changed in a while…” Bulkhead said, tapping his large digit on his chin. “I _guess_ that’s good…”

Ratchet “You guess?!”

“Hey, look, I might know a lot of things about space bridges, but I don’t know what caused this! So… I’m just trying my best here...”

“He’s right, Ratchet, you shouldn’t be so hard on him.” Optimus frowned at their doctor.

"I'm sorry, Bulkhead." Ratchet mumbled, barely audible. "But is it really that out of your knowledge base, to the point where we can't even begin to identify the cause?"

"We completely dismantled this bridge three times over by now, and I found nothing wrong, even when checking out the Iacon databases for reports on space bridge disruptions." The back portions of Bulkhead's alt mode drooped down as he slumped his shoulders.

Prowl moved away from the little group. He kneeled at the base of the gate, rubbing a freshly reinstalled panel.

"What about Protohex'? I heard they're also good with space bridges." Prowl heard Optimus ask.

Bulkhead sighed. "Yeah, I checked the Protohex records too. Nothing there either..."

Prowl stood back up and addressed the group. "What if we sent someone in to test it, to report what they see, now that the coordinates are stable?"

Bumblebee snapped back to the conversation, now that it was more on his level. "I think Prowl might have absorbed the space bridge glitch, because what he's saying is completely crazy..."

"I'm serious!” Prowl implored. “If Bulkhead can't find anything wrong with the space bridge itself, that must mean the problem lies beyond it." He straightened himself out. "I volunteer to go in to find out."

"Prowl…" Ratchet held out a pleading servo.

"Yeah, come on, you don't have to do this." Bulkhead also joined in, then chuckled. "Heh, maybe we could send in a Decepticon instead."

"We'd have to convince one to go in. And if we succeed, that would make us no better than they are." Optimus stepped towards Prowl.

He continued. "Bulkhead, are the coordinates still set?"

The large bot looked at the monitor, then down at the ground. "Yeah, they're still the same."

Their leader glared straight at the whirling space bridge gate. "Then I'll go instead."

"Optimus, with all due respect, I volunteered for this mission first." Prowl said.

"With all due respect, Prowl, it's not a mission until I say so."

"Alright, lawyer-bot…" Bumblebee rolled his eyes.

Optimus continued. "And I say it starts now, and that I'll be the one to test this."

Ratchet walked up to both Optimus and Prowl. "Whatever decision you two make, I suggest you hurry. The coordinates might start switching out again."

Prowl stared Optimus down. "You're right, you should go…" he stepped aside to let Optimus pass.

Optimus began to walk towards the portal, without saying a word. It was then that Prowl sprung forward, far too quick for Ratchet to catch onto his plan, and too quick for Optimus to intercept him when he lept on his back, using him as leverage to jump into the bright portal.

(7#--&55+

_You know that galaxies crash into each other? Yeah, for real, those big star systems crash into each other all the time! Sure, it takes them a few million years or so to complete the process, but I can wait, and so can the Cybertronians. To an extent._

_I'm sure you're worried that suns or planets or whatever will end up bumping into each other then? Turns out they don't! Galaxies are too big for that. It might happen, in theory, but in practice? Phew, good luck._

_Now, universes? Yeah, same thing, they pass through each other as well, if the term "passing through" even applies. Could anything within them be affected when they do? Again…_

_… Good luck._

\------ -

Knockout groaned as he opened his eyes again. How very strange, since he never remembered closing them. He shut them again once he saw the vast expanse of space.

"Oh, no, no, this can't be happening…" He gasped. "Wait… My voice…"

His voice was indeed slightly different. He brought a hand to his neck, only to discover that his voice was the least of his concerns.

"Gah, this isn't mine!" A golden and black hand curled itself in fear, still controlled by him.

Looking down at the rest of himself, he was greeted by more of this strange body. Mostly black, with some gold trimming, on a sleeker build than what he was accustomed to. He sported two gray wheels on both of his legs, and a concerning red logo right in the middle of his chest.

"An… An Autobot?!"

\-------

Prowl came to, shaking his head. What was supposed to be a quick test run at the other side of Detroit clearly turned into something much more dire.

He groaned. Being stranded in space was… Less than ideal, but he could still see the Earth's gleaming blue and green surface within his line of sight. This could have turned out much worse.

A red glint caught his optics as he moved to make a comm call. He flailed his servos in panic, only to realize that the red was coming from them.

"What in the…" He covered his mouth. This wasn't his voice. Or his body.

He looked at himself. He seemed to be an average sized mech, mostly painted up in red. The wheels at the back of his feet and the windows on his arms most likely indicated a car alt mode. That gave him some hope. Surely the poor Autobot that he swapped bodies with could be swiftly contacted, and this whole ordeal could be amended. He opened up his comm list.

His mouth hung agape in shock, as he only found the names of top ranking Decepticons greeting him.

Was this Autobot a spy, then? Was he captured, and had just now tried to flee? He went down the list, only finding more Decepticon names. Yes, some were unfamiliar to him, but he had a hard time picturing someone named "Dreadwing" running around with an Autobot logo strapped to their chest.

This mech was a Decepticon.

\-------

"Optimus, Bumblebee, Ratchet, Bulkhead… Lovely, just as expected… I suppose I should just ring them up right now and tell them to come shoot me in the head-- Dear Primus, this voice!" Knockout growled at no one in particular, which was all for the better since the only ones who could hear him would gladly carry out his request. Strange that Arcee wasn't on the comm list, though. Not that he'd call her, if anything, she was one of the worse options for his immediate survival.

There was one last entry on the list. But it was completely awash in static, making the name unreadable. Could be her, then, but why would it show static, instead of an offlined or wounded indicator?

"Great, either take a chance on what is most likely another murderous motorcycle, or be perpetually adrift in space, with no one to help me…"

A golden hand was carried to the side of his head, prepared to contact that last signal. As risky as it was, it was his only hope for survival. He felt his face contort into a frightened grimace as he prepared to connect.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Gah!" Knockout flailed in the void. He hadn't initiated the call, this was someone else patching in… Someone who sounded exactly like him. "Who are you, and what are you doing impersonating me!?" Knockout said.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing…" The stranger replied, unmistakably in his voice, but a lot more threatening and monotone than Knockout normally sounded.

Knockout scoffed. "I had nothing at all to do with this! There I was, wanting to use the space bridge to go for a nice drive, and instead of ending up on the Autobahn, I end up being an Autobot! And also I'm in space now."

"The… the Autobahn? What is it, and what were you going to do to it, Decepticon!?"

Knockout was confused at first, but laughed a bit once he understood. "Calm your crankcase, two-wheeler. The Autobahn is a human made road system in Germany… And the only thing I want to do to it is test the limits of their very permissive speed laws."

A groan came from the comm line. "That's still a crime, and you'll see justice for it."

Was this guy for real?... He sounded like he was mocking a sub-par human police procedural.

"Ooh, so these pretty red and blue lights you got here aren't just for show? Color me terrified, cop bot!"

The Autobot ignored Knockout’s clever taunting. "So, I think we can safely assume that we… Switched bodies?"

"That depends, are you an absolutely ravishing red mech, with a paint job as flawless as his high precision drilling?" Knockout ran an appraising finger on his own forearm, out of habit.

"Well…" The stranger paused. "I _am_ very red." Another few seconds went by, along with the telltale sound of the t-cog being engaged and disengaged. "And you do indeed turn into a car… Strange alt-mode for a Decepticon."

Knockout scoffed. "Oh, believe me, they let me know that every other sentence."

"And, 'precision drilling'? What are you, some sort of vanity mining 'con?"

"Mining?! How crude... No, my dearest Autobot friend, I happen to be a topmost medical officer!" Knockout bowed, despite no one being there.

"A… Decepticon car doctor. Now I've seen everything." The Autobot sighed.

Knockout proudly inspected one of his now very blunted fingertips. "I'll give you a moment to recover from your shock and awe, and also the knowledge that you couldn't possibly top any of that."

The stranger answered back in a dullness that Knockout had never guessed possible for his own voice. "I'm a ninja."

".... Well. Nevermind, then, Mister Motorcycle Ninja Cop. Or do you perchance go by another name?"

"I do, in fact. It's Prowl."

 _"Enchanté…_ I'm Knockout, since I'm sure you were dying to know. Or at least, you will be dead, as soon as you get back to the Nemesis and they find out an Autobot hijacked my body."

"Over my fried processor, Decepticon! I'm going to escape this without your kind's help, and I'm going to recover my body!" Prowl boasted. It seemed that the only emotions he could get out of the Autobot were either a snide monotone or slightly more riled up anger. How fun.

"Oh? Without a space bridge that's probably required to reverse this? I'd love to see you try."

"I'll contact the Autobots, then!"

"While you look like me? They'll drop you as soon as they see you!" 

"What about you, then? You think the Decepticons are in any more of a hurry to take prisoners?" Prowl said.

"They might, once they see that their medical officer is so awful at his job!"

The Decepticon expected another terse comeback following his own, but all he heard was a small sigh, and the tense pause right after it.

"Look… _Knockout._ We clearly both want our bodies back, and we can assume that neither of us, or anyone on our side, was plotting this. Best we can do is stay under cover and survive until we find a solution."

Knockout contemplated this offer. Him raising his hand was met with the weightlessness of the vast black void, a grim reminder of his very precarious situation. As much as it angered him, the Autobot was right, and they both had no other options.

"Fine by me. But only as long as it takes to return to our bodies unharmed.” He grinned. “Then the deal is off."

Prowl spoke up. “As much as it pains me to say so on my end, I’m adding an extra addendum that we also do not harm anyone belonging to our… New factions.”

"No problem at all!”

Prowl mumbled a few obscenities, but Knockout was undeterred, he kept going.

“See how easy that was? I’m glad we could come to an agreement… _Prowl."_ He purposefully dragged the Autobot's name out in a long purr, or at least, as best he could with a voice he wasn't used to.

"Ugh, don't say my name like that!" It still had the wanted effect.

Knockout laughed. "You should hear it in my voice. Except, you can, since it's yours now."

"Full offense, but I'd rather drown in molten titanium…"

"Wish granted, since you'll have to call on Megatron to get out of there!"

Knockout heard a strained groan coming from the comm line. He almost felt sorry for the Autobot. "Yes, about that... Try to keep talking at a minimum, and get away from the Autobots as fast as possible. And don't be too smug and... smiley. They'll catch on quite fast that something is wrong with you."

"Be a miserable sack of rust until I can talk to you again. Roger that, cop-bot!" Knockout gave a little saluting gesture, and he clicked off the comm line just as he heard Prowl tell him to not call him "cop-bot".

Knockout sighed. He could still see the little blue marble the humans called home from where he was. At least the spacebridge glitch had the good sense to leave him stranded nearby.

His hand crashed with something on his face as he tried to dial in for help. A blue glass object drifted to the side as a result. Knockout cursed to himself as he grabbed for it, before it could float away. Only when they were in his hands did he realize that the Autobot wore some sort of triangular external visor.

He grumbled as he clipped the glasses back on. “So much nonsense to get used to, and I haven’t even called the Autobots yet…”

\-------

"Retrieval in five minutes."

"Yes, thank you Soundwave." Prowl sighed with relief as Soundwave logged off the comm link.

Five minutes… Good time as any to think of a strategy.

But he couldn't focus on that when a lot of things seemed… off. Lugnut and Blitzwing weren't on his comm list, for starters. Had they gotten themselves offlined? One could only hope, but wouldn't the Autobots have known? If it was that recent, wouldn't their names still be listed? Wouldn't Soundwave have mentioned it? Come to think of it, what was Soundwave doing among Megatron's close entourage? Maybe Megatron was getting desperate for recruits, surely that was a good thing, maybe even good enough to distract from the Nemesis being fully operational.

Prowl shook his head. He had to stay focused, and mostly on his acting talent, of all things. The mech that he was now impersonating, “Knockout”… Oh, he was full of himself to be sure, but he didn't play that single note full time. Only most of the time. This would be a tricky thing to pull off, and he couldn't call him either, since he'd be busy impersonating him in kind. Disgusting.

A dark purple ship loomed into view, barely visible against the deep black of space. As it came even closer, Prowl could see that it was indeed completely repaired, but more than that, it looked different now, somehow having amassed even more terrifying spikes on its hull.

Just as he was processing the massive vessel stopping near him, one of its ports slid open.

Soundwave re-linked his comm signal, startling Prowl. "Magnetize. … See Megatron in the command room."

That was odd. Soundwave seemed to be fond of switching around his voicebox's modulation constantly. Maybe it was a side effect of him getting rebuilt. Nevertheless, Prowl complied, engaging his magnetized pedes and carefully making his way into the enemy ship.

The airlock slammed shut behind him. Now he had to find the command room, and face Megatron in it.

His initial guess led him to believe that it was at the front of the ship, but that didn't really reveal on which deck it was. As he made his way forward, he heard some voices drawing nearer. He hid behind a doorway.

"Yeah, they found him in one piece, but I don't know if Megatron's gonna leave him like that."

"Are you kidding? He's a medic, he can get away with anything."

"Guess you're right… Whatever, at least Steve made it out fine."

… Steve? As a Cybetronian name?... Prowl rolled his eyes. What will the Decepticons come up with next.

"Oh hey, there he is. Welcome back to the ship, sir!"

They were talking to him. Blast this bright red paint job, absolutely useless for remaining unseen. It at least offered a decent opportunity to seek information.

Coming out of his hiding spot, he could now see that the two chatting mechs were identical in appearance, both with expressionless faceplates, sporting silver and purple coloring. They looked the part as far as Decepticons go, but Prowl didn't recognize them at all.

Still, he played along. "Yes, I'm back, and no sooner than later… Tell me, what's the quickest way to the command room from here? I'm not exactly used to entering the ship like this."

"Just keep going straight ahead and make the first right." One of the Decepticons pointed at the dreary hallway.

"Thank you." Prowl remembered to force out a smile, and briskly turned around. Whether or not the two Decepticons bought it, he didn't know, and he didn't stay to find out. But nothing too disastrous happened, and he even found out where he was supposed to meet Megatron.

Risking inexperience with his new alt mode was right out, no matter how unwise it would be to be late to this meeting. He opted for a brisk jogging pace instead. The rightward entrance appeared, as ominously lit as the rest of the corridors, and became wider and wider as he reached the command station.

Quite a view, he’d give the Decepticons that much. More of the silver and the purple mechs were in the command room itself, walking about, or dialing commands on some terminals. They must have been clones of sorts, then. The more he looked around, the more it became evident that this place wasn't hastily rebuilt. It was massive, well organized, terrifying.

Prowl’s priority was finding Megatron. There was a center platform in the middle of the room, but the large mech positioned there didn’t look like him, despite sporting a daunting set of curved spikes on both of his shoulders. Another, smaller grey mech he didn’t recognize was keeping him busy with a conversation that wasn’t going in his favor, while a creepy looking thin one was standing next to the large mech, motionless. He decided to keep looking before anyone of them would spot him.

“There he is, Lord Megatron! Safe and sound, as I predicted!” The thin grey one was pointing a sharp claw right at Prowl.

He at first paid them no heed, waiting to see Megatron appear, but… a horrible thought dawned on him.

The large mech had turned around to look right at him. What compelled Prowl to walk towards him and bow was much more than the mere terror of having to face the Decepticon leader.

It was the feeling that something was very, very wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://imgur.com/JCHwi55)  
>   
> 
> 
> (eye colors non-diegetic, lmao) 


	2. All Cop-bots Are Bastards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sassy Murder Car and Ninja Motorcycle Cop are just gonna have to get along, huh

Every iota of strength Prowl had, every spare room in his processor, all of it had to be put to this test. Slipping up would mean instant death, or worse. A fate unimaginable to any Autobot.

It couldn’t have been just facing the Decepticons as a prisoner, of course not. A drawn out ruse had to be performed and it had to convince these… Imposters? Who were they, that they shared the Decepticons’ names, and even their ranks?

"Welcome back to the ship, doctor. Did you enjoy your little outing?"

The mech, Megatron, he supposed, spoke through sharpened teeth and with a brutal, biting tone to match. This question offered little room for error. But Prowl remembered Knockout's recollection, and tried to go from there.

"My most sincere apologies, I interpreted the space bridge as being fully functional. And it…" Prowl cast a quick aside at the window, the curvature of the earth gleaming against it. "...Clearly wasn't. It won't happen again" He punctuated that last statement with a bow. He saw Knockout as the pragmatically grovelling type, or at least, that's what he was, starting now.

"Hmph. Such a crass and careless action should see much further punishment." The slim grey bot right next to Megatron sneered out. Large wings, sharp claws, a vile personality… How did Prowl not figure it out earlier, the mech was definitely--

"Starscream. You were there. Why didn't you object to Knockout using the space bridge?" Megatron raised a large eyebrow at his second in command, who stammered and laughed nervously.

"Well, who am I to question our medical officer? Such matters _should_ have fallen under his expertise…"

All optics were back on Prowl, and he could have sworn that Starscream was grinning now, the spawn of a glitch. 

Time to pathetically bargain for his life. "Yes, I might have lept to conclusions a touch. But I also only offered myself to go in. Wouldn't that have been punishment enough if something had truly gone wrong?"

Prowl nearly jumped backwards once Megatron marched closer to him. His deeply scarred faceplate was barely a foot apart from him, enough to see a reminder of his predicament reflected in those cruel red optics.

"Your punishment, Knockout, is that you will not set a single foot outside of this ship until the space bridge is fully repaired. Do I make myself clear?"

Prowl managed to rack his processor enough to find a proper honorific, one often prattled about by Lugnut. "Perfectly so, Lord Megatron."

"Good. Now return to your duties."

Prowl let out a sigh. Being dismissed was good, he could even try to contact Knockout again. He turned around sharply and headed out, not wanting to look at the Decepticon higher ups for any longer than he had to.

\------

Knockout stared at his hands, completely aghast.

What was happening? What stark raving mad scheme did he get stuck into that everything carried the same names, but were off by just enough to be completely different? Prowl had said that this… Mix-up was unintentional, but this was going too far.

Still, he had to keep talking to the Autobot. Any call made to Prowl was a bit of a risk, so he had to find a more secluded area to contact him in peace. He settled on a dead end hallway with no rooms nearby, but ending on a small window, in case something really went south.

"Come on, cop-bot, pick up…"

He didn't keep him waiting, thankfully. "Hello? Knockout?"

"Who else, I wonder?" Knockout went from singsong to deeply aggravated. "Now, I'll get right to the point; who in the Pits is responsible for this whole mess?!"

A prolonged silence. Knockout wasn't expecting that. "Is… Is everything different for you too?"

This wasn't the answer he was hoping for, but he was too angry to stop. "You mean apart from getting my body torn away from me? Oh, don't worry, I'm doing great, the Autobots being completely unknown entities to me is totally fine, just peachy…"

"The Decepticons are not familiar to me as well."

Clenching his jaw, Knockout went silent.

"What year is it, from what you last knew, when you still were in your own body?" Prowl asked.

"Ah, a fan of the human time metric, I see. They seem to agree that it's been roughly 2,012 Earth years since a major religious figure of theirs was born."

He heard a small gasp from the line. "That… That can't be. Are you sure it's not 2036?" Prowl's voice was a bit more panicked, which would be entertaining if it weren't for this tormentous new nightmare that Knockout now had to process.

"2036?! Skipping ahead a bit, aren't we?"

"That the year it's supposed to be!"

Knockout looked out the little window, to test the Autobot's outlandish claim. Detroit still looked like he remembered, barring the addition of a few more skyscrapers, and some hovering droids that didn't look to be of Cybetronian make.

"By Primus… Did we time travel?" Knockout wondered, covering his mouth slightly.

"It would be the most logical explanation, but a lot of things still don't make sense…" Prowl said.

"Hmph, you're telling me. Although I do delight in Optimus being a Prime by name only now."

"What are you talking about? Optimus had a bit of a falling out with the Academy, but they still made him a Prime."

Knockout raised an eyebrow, despite no longer having any. "I don't know about any Academy, but if Optimus still has the Matrix of Leadership then he's doing quite a good job of hiding it."

"The… The Matrix of Leadership?" Prowl asked.

"Yes, the Matrix of Leadership, that's what I said." Knockout looked at his dulled fingertips once more. Old habits were indeed hard to break.

"The same Matrix of Leadership that has been lost to the stars for millions of years? _That_ Matrix of Leadership?"

"You dense motorbike… The one that Optimus lugs around with him constantly! What kind of an Autobot are you if you don't even know this?!"

"All-Spark help me, Decepticon, if this is another one of your lies--"

While Prowl was chewing him out, a terrible hypothesis emerged in Knockout's processor. "Where does Megatron hail from?"

"What?"

"A simple question, everyone knows this one. Just answer it."

"According to most reports, he was forged in Tarn." Prowl said, after a long sigh.

Knockout winced, but kept going. "What was the cause of the Autobot and Decepticon split, as best as you can summarise it?"

"I don't see what use these questions are…"

"It'll make more sense after you answer them, and I picked well known ones for a reason."

A snarl came from Prowl. "Answer it yourself then!"

"Very well: An increasing anger at the senate over a prolonged energon shortage, further exacerbated by the rigid caste system imposed since countless eons. The Decepticons were the first to rebel, while the Autobots were formed to quell the uprising."

"A… a caste system? What?..."

"Yes. And my Megatron--" Knockout hummed. "An odd term, but it'll have to do, was forged in Kaon, in case you were curious. I think that two of them running around at the same time would have attracted a lot more attention than none at all. Especially from each other."

The Autobot caught on quickly. Knockout heard the sound of something being hit, then a snarl. "This can't be happening…" Prowl said, voice barely audible.

Knockout looked out of the window, his now long, dark grey face slightly visible in the reflection. "Prowl… How familiar are you with multiple universe theory?"

\------

"A particle accelerator?! Ratchet… You must be joking!" Professor Sumdac gasped, almost spilling a cup of coffee on his keypad. The overworked human had other stations from which to call him, but Ratchet hated the thought of a technical malfunction wasting his time.

Ratchet crossed his arms. "Does it look like I'm laughing?"

Tiny nervous gloved digits ran through the black and white hair. "Don't get me wrong, I know what the spacebridge means for you, and for us. But I already pulled so many favors for that extraction operation… Maybe you're better off asking the president!"

So many light years travelled and a new sentient species discovered only to still be met with impenetrable bureaucracy. Ratchet mumbled these thoughts out loud, but much less clearly and with half the words.

Sumdac continued. "Speaking of the accident, is Prowl alright? For his sake, and… If I should tell Sari anything."

"I haven't given him a check-up yet, but he seems to be fine." Maybe a touch angrier, Ratchet thought, but it was hard to tell when he was arguing with Optimus.

"Oh, thank goodness… With these glitches, who knows what could have happened! But, yes, do keep me updated, and I'll contact the laboratory, as per your request." He sighed. "I can't really promise anything."

"All we can do is try." Ratchet said.

Professor Sumdac gave a single nod accompanied by his usual tired smile before logging off.

\------

If Prowl had to say one good thing about who he switched bodies, and universes, with it's that he at least kept his quarters tidy. He could locate the necessary datapads and tools in a timely enough fashion, which was one less burden lifted, since he had no idea what they were for.

"Start off with reading Rossum's Basics of Physiology. It's not the shortest of reads, but it's accessible enough, and covers a lot. A word of advice: skip right to the sections on repairing any blunt trauma wounds, those will be the bulk of your job."

"I have to say, Knockout, I'm… Pleasantly surprised by your instructions so far."

"Why thank you! Which brings me to the next point: paint maintenance." Knockout said.

"Paint? For what?"

"Maintaining a shine on your paint job, to be more precise."

Prowl snarled. "Decepticon, please, this isn't the time for your vanity projects!"

"Vanity project or not, Autobot, your current compatriots will notice something is wrong if you let too many scratches build up."

"It's your fault for upkeeping your looks to an impossible standard of maintenance! And now I have to be the one to keep it going?!"

A small pause before Knockout answered. "Mm-hmm!"

"And even then, is this really your top priority after we just now might have found out about…" Prowl tilted his head back and sighed. "The separate universes?"

"Well, if you want to be immediately found out and then brutally tortured, be my guest! But, sure, applying a bit of a wax polish to yourself now and then is the absolute end of the world by comparison, you’re right..."

Prowl looked around the room for paint equipment, despite his objections. “It’s not like I’m going to get it scratched that much anyway, I’ve been confined to the ship for something _you_ did!”

"You’re in no place to say anything! I heard from your little Autobot friends that you attempted to go on quite the little adventure yourself!"

"I did it so that nothing would happen to Optimus. And it looks like I was proven right!"

Knockout paused before answering back, and his voice was but a whisper when he did. "Hmm, as much as I would like to continue this lovely banter, someone's following me. Enjoy your reading material… And remember: There will be a practical quiz!"

The comm clicked off. Was that a threat or a prediction? Most likely both, especially if any of the Decepticons were to barge in with a broken servo or a leaking actuator pump or whatever other failures of the constructed body would besiege them.

Nevertheless, he had to educate himself. The datapad Knockout mentioned was easy enough to find within an alphabetically organized shelving unit. What was less easy was reckoning with the listed size of the document.

"56,143 pages." He read aloud.

Already feeling his processor ache, he opened the introductory chapter.

\-----

"Prowl? What are you doing here?"

Ratchet had managed to find him. Admittedly this was also Knockout's fault for not having found a better hiding place, but he'd still wish that the Autobots wouldn't trail him, for more than the usual reasons.

"Nothing, since I can't go on patrol today." Repressed existential panic probably counted as nothing to someone out there.

"You'll be free to go tomorrow. And if you ask me, Prime's still letting you off a bit easy." This Ratchet was about as sour as the one Knockout knew back in his own universe, but he could see the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. 

Knockout only hummed and turned around in response. That's what pretentious quiet loners do when they're slightly confronted, isn't it? Pout like petulant sparklings?

"Anyway… I'll need to give you a check-up. You said you were fine, but as your doctor, I have to make sure."

Knockout's eyes widened, while he was still thankfully turned around. Whatever answer he gave would have to be weighed quick. Opting out would be incredibly suspicious, and he couldn't think of an excuse to delay it anyway. Escape was possible, but it would be blowing his cover far too early.

He turned around to face Ratchet. "Very well." His intonation was still a bit peppier than Prowl's, but hopefully the older doctor wouldn't jot that one down as part of his diagnosis.

"Then you can join me now, since you have nothing better to do." Ratchet imposed, while beginning to walk down the hallway. 

It was yet another stroke of luck that Ratchet was turned around. Keeping the mask of perpetual aloofness upon top of everything else was infuriating.

"Alright, the spark pulse readings look fine. Give me your servo."

Moving was hard. Not because of any latent injuries this new body had, he felt fine on that front, but because there were so many intricacies that had to be considered as part of this act. Would Prowl move as stiff and as jerkily as he talked? Or, Primus forbid, was he actually decent as a ninja, and therefore would move smoothly and deliberately? In his futile search for an answer, Knockout settled on some sort of an in-between.

Or maybe Prowl was terrified of medical appointments and his best guess was completely wrong.

"Any pains in the chassis?" Ratchet asked, snapping Knockout from his panic.

That was another thing that was off about this universe: everyone was stuck on outdated body part terms, ones that even Starscream rarely fell back on. It made regular conversations even more of a chore to navigate through.

"No, none." Knockout answered.

Of course he had considered the possibility of Ratchet finding out the truth. Knockout had opted to let the medic find out, if he discovered anything. Knockout was stranded here with no equipment at all, so that would at least give him some semblance of an answer. He could also reliably escape from this, since it's not like he was put under or strapped down for what was just a routine check-up.

Knockout's eyes darted around to look at some of the monitors. Some were a bit more crude, possibly borrowed human tech, but they kept up a decent pace with the presumably Cybertronian pieces of equipment. He experienced what was probably his first big relief in finding out that he could still read what they were saying. His second big relief came with understanding that Cybertronian physiology was still largely the same as it was back in his universe. He'd have to investigate further to make sure, but it was a start.

Ratchet bent Knockouts' elbow forward. "How about this?"

"It all still feels the same."

"Well then, if you're dying every time you take a step and you're just not telling me, that's no fault of mine." He waved his pointer finger around sternly.

The old medibot had quite the knack for sounding like a massive scold, even in another universe. What was newer, and unbeknownst to him, was his newly acquired cruel sense of irony.

Knockout flexed his hand, staring at it. "I think all it did was teleport me to an incorrect location."

"Just don't disobey Prime again, or it'll give me a lot more to fix." Ratchet said.

What kind of a heroic idiot was Prowl trying to be, anyway? Whatever, none of his failings to amend. The only acknowledgement this warranted was a small grunt.

"Can I go now?" Knockout asked.

Ratchet had turned away to begin putting away his equipment, but snuck a glance backward. "What, you have somewhere to be?"

"Not really. Just asking if that’s all you need from me."

"Yes, you're free to go."

Knockout got up from the gurney, trying to seem less excited to leave than he actually was.

"Thank you, Ratchet." He sharply added before leaving. The old bot nodded in his direction before returning to his tidying.

The triangular shades would have to be given more credit. They would be crucial in hiding the countless eyerolls Knockout would be doing while he was trapped here. He engaged his comm link as soon as he was once again secluded enough. "Come in, cop-bot…"

The monotone reply came, still regrettably in Knockout's voice. "Don't call me cop-bot."

"Cop-bot! How goes the studying? Surely by now you'd have completely surpassed me even in the realm of the finest of micro-surgeries."

A long groan from Prowl. "I finished chapter three and I feel like my processor is on fire."

Knockout laughed. "It's going great, then! Although as much as I'd love to play teacher right now, wandering around your little base is going to get me in trouble. So, where does my new shell that I've been handed like to relax?"

"Top floor, third door to your left as soon as you leave the staircase."

Said stairs were decently easy to locate thanks to some painted signage on the concrete walls. "Any neighbors I have to worry about?"

"Everyone else is on the ground floor, and Bumblebee shouldn't barge in on you, ever since what happened a few months ago."

"How promising. Speaking of Bumblebee, how is he, I wonder? I haven't met him yet." Knockout chuckled. "Did he get his voice box torn out by Megatron too?"

"More repulsive Decepticon humor…" A sigh before Prowl answered. "No. He didn't."

Knockout opened the hangar bay door fitting the location. "Plenty of time for your own Megatron to catch up-- Why is there a tree in your room?!"

"It was already there when I moved in."

"That's… That's not a good answer!" Knockout stomped towards it. "Agh, look at it, it already took out half the ceiling!"

"Magnificently strong, isn't it?" Prowl said, sounding genuinely happy for the first time they’ve started talking.

Knockout's hands were clenched in helpless rage. "We’ll see how ‘magnificently strong’ it is when I chop it down!"

"Well." Prowl stated calmly. "If you want to be immediately found out and then brutally tortured… Be my guest."

And now this blowhard was throwing Knockout's own words back in his face. "I doubt they'd have the bearings to do that last part!"

The following silence and subject change from Prowl was worrisome. "If it's the weather you're worried about, that same tree keeps most of it at bay. And as for the noise, no one can hear you from this high."

"Unless they come up to see me…" Knockout looked down from the open wall, sweeping the scratchy tree branches aside. Quite a drop, but not enough to cause too much harm. Worth taking a note of.

"From their point of view, they're still just checking in on me." Prowl said.

The branches left behind a few scuffs, despite Knockout's best efforts. "So you're saying that if I get rid of this overgrown weed, the Autobots will stop being my friends and will leave me alone? Spare me the horror!"

"Will you just stop whining and behave?..."

"Oh calm down. I'm not that fed up with them. Or this tree. Yet."

Prowl hummed, clearly unconvinced. “Anything else? Because there’s a paragraph in chapter two about the median servo cables seizing up and I had questions--”

Knockout interrupted the Autobot’s quibble when he noticed some other _quaint_ decorative accessories in the room. "What is that, is that a… Motivational cat poster? Ugh, how tacky! Can I replace it?"

More aggravated groaning from Prowl. "With what, some picture of an expensive car?"

Knockout chuckled. "Am I that predictable?"

"Yes. And no, you can't, they'll notice that too. Anyway, if the cables--" Whatever he wanted, it could wait, this was already too much Autobot nonsense to tolerate. 

"So I can't do anything?!"

There was a long pause before Prowl answered, but this time without anymore accompanied sounds of disapproval. "Don't worry, Decepticon, just…"

More silence, but Prowl didn’t sound as angry this time. Perhaps he’d give out some actual advice this time.

“... Hang in there."

The comm signal cut out right after Prowl quoted that very same damned cat poster, with a tired and spiteful drawl.

"The sheer nerve…" Knockout mumbled, now only to himself. For someone acting so mature and mighty, Prowl evidently wasn't above such a taunting departure. 

Knockout threw himself on the recharging slab. It wasn't like he had anything else to do in this room. He saw a few datapads strewn about here and there, but he rightfully opted to leave the tedious reading sessions to Prowl.

Staring at the intact portion of the ceiling revealed nothing new about his predicament. He'd have to call Prowl back for that. As if he'd give him the pleasure, Knockout thought.

He'll do just fine without his help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://imgur.com/JRqdiFt)  
>   
> 
> 
> Just like school all over again... (my condolences if you're still in school, u can do it, i beliebe in u)
> 
> (also, i made this as my tablet broke... like goddamn, i wish i was drowning in tablets rn)


	3. A Normal Daily Routine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late, lol, but what else is new about my writing schedule...

An internal alarm startled Knockout awake at six in the morning, because of course it did.

While he was still unfamiliar with some of the rules of this new world, a lot of them, he noticed, were still very much alike. And seeing the rising sun pouring through the branches of that damn tree confirmed that six in the morning was still an absurd time to be awake at.

He groaned and turned over in his thick slab of a bed. Still some time left to go back to sleep. At least, it would be, if not for a thought keeping him awake: if this internal alarm was set up beforehand, that meant that it was the schedule he, "Prowl", had to abide by. He cursed that same Autobot’s name as he sat up, his hand dragging across his face.

Perhaps he should call him? Both to inform himself as to what he should even do with his time, and to wake him up at the same wretched hour, since that was somehow still a dependable constant between universes.

“Pick up, you good-for-nothing slag-heap….” He droned out, too tired for anything remotely resembling teasing smugness.

“Good morning to you as well, Decepticon.” Prowl sounded perfectly awake. How Knockout had not expected that, he decided to chalk up to his early morning grogginess.

"Just…" Knockout tried to groan, but yawned instead. “Just tell me what I have to do on most days to not get instantly killed.”

“Hmm…”

“What do you mean ‘Hmm’?! This is your daily schedule we’re talking about!”

“Will you be patient? It’s not like I usually have to think hard about these things." Prowl said. "Besides, I don’t think you’ll like the first item on the list.”

“Try me.” Knockout said.

“I always start the day with some meditation.”

Knockout pouted. “Skipping that one.”

“I’m sure you’ll like it if you give it a try. It will certainly help with the mood you’re in this morning.” Prowl said.

“Because it did so much for you, clearly. I can practically see _your_ scowl on _my_ face right now.” Knockout said.

“Suit yourself, as long as you don't cause trouble. The others don’t wake up until later anyway. What about you?”

“Oh, easy, I sleep for at least three more hours. Failing that…” Knockout rubbed his forehead, the blue visor clattering lightly against his palm. “Ah, wait… The Spacebridge.”

“Broken on your end too, I know.”

“No, not that. Well, sort of. You’ll actually have to work on it sometimes.” Knockout said.

An audible hiss from Prowl made Knockout smile a bit. “Right. Where do I start?”

Knockout partook in a few lazy stretches. Might as well start this damned day off in earnest. “Honestly, you won’t have much to learn. I myself have no idea what to do, so I just keep running basic maintenance subroutines to look busy. There’s some datapads with some of my notes in it that you could read. Shockwave’s the only one who could maybe parse out what’s wrong with the bridge, and even then...”

Prowl interrupted him. “Shockwave’s good with spacebridges now, is he?”

“As the Decepticons’ most esteemed scientist, yes, I’d imagine he’d be aware of how they work.”

“He’s a scientist?” Prowl asked.

“I just said so, yes. Wait, what’s your Shockwave then?”

“A notoriously hard to catch spy.”

Knockout chuckled. “Maybe we should suggest to both of them that they take up a second day job.”

“Absolutely not.”

"For once we agree on something. And while we're on this topic, be very, very careful with what you say around him. His data banks prize logical consistencies above everything, so, keep that in mind when partaking in this little charade." Knockout said.

Proel hummed, clearly concerned. "Noted."

"Lovely to help, as usual...” Knockout drawled out, fighting back another yawn. “So, what do _I_ have to do on this fine day?" 

"That's it? I just… Drive around?" Knockout whined.

"I thought you said you liked driving around." Prowl said.

"Not in dense, _human_ traffic. And not as a two wheeler. Ugh, I feel as if I'm constantly going to topple over whenever I slow down, how do you manage this?!"

"Just--"

"No doubt some nonsense about my life being unbalanced and it being reflected in my driving." Knockout said.

"I was going to say to better align your motion stabilizers, but that works too." Prowl said.

Knockout did as he was told, but still rolled his eyes. He didn't know if his hologram followed suit, but at least the humans had the decency to mind their own business. "Looks like I'll be stuck here for a while…"

"If you're that impatient, just walk away." Prowl said.

"Very funny." Knockout said.

"I'm serious."

Knockout growled. "Look, Autobot, I know we're not on the best of terms, but we agreed on not intentionally sabotaging each other!"

"What are you talking about?" Prowl said.

"If I transform and walk away, the humans will find out about us!'"

"What? Why would they?” Prowl sounded genuinely confused. “Oh. Right. The humans have known of our presence since the day we landed here. Just get up and step between the cars."

"Hmph." Knockout changed up from his alt mode, and indeed, it barely earned a few glances from the human drivers below him. He side stepped their vehicles, opting to climb down from the elevated freeway.

"I take it that your humans don't know of you being on their planet, then?" Prowl asked.

"Firstly, they're not _my_ humans. Second, no, they do not, and we'd rather keep it that way. Primitive as they are, they seem quite anxious to use their numerous artillery on anything that vaguely poses a threat to them."

"But you _do_ pose a threat to them."

Knockout shrugged. "Not my problem. At least me getting you grounded to the ship avoided us quite the little disaster, hmm?"

"Nonsense. I would have stayed hidden until I knew more." Prowl said.

"Right, the whole _ninja_ thing. Adorable." Knockout looked around. He was at a relatively deserted highway crossing. Some planes were flying overhead, probably on a routine air manoeuvre practice.

"You should be doing the same. Be more aware of your surroundings." Prowl said.

"Do you really think I'm strolling around waiting to be killed by your little universe's doppelgangers?! I have done nothing but be vigilant since I came here-- Hold on, my proximity detector is beeping."

Thankfully the internal processor systems responded like his own, and Knockout could get a read on the intruders fairly quickly. Decepticons, two of them, now flying towards him. The same two planes Knockout saw in the sky, embarrassingly enough.

“Seems like I have company…” He ducked behind one of the nearby concrete columns that supported the above highway.

“Who is it?” Prowl asked.

“Lugnut and Blitzwing. Completely unfamiliar names to me, so if you could give me a five second briefing on them before they find me, that would be great.”

Prowl's answer was as quick as it was concise. “Lunatic murderers slavishly devoted to Megatron.” 

Knockout rolled his eyes, while still having both of the Decepticons in his sights. “How descriptive. What about what I should do to not die?”

“Call the Autobots.” Prowl said.

The large bomber plane one, Lugnut, as the scanner indicated, turned into his robot mode and slammed into a patch of concrete, shattering it to pieces. "Show yourself, Autobot! And face the wrath of the glorious Megatron!"

“Argh, why are we stopping for a puny Autobot?! Let us get back to the mission!” The smaller one, Blitzwing, shouted at his compatriot. Though calling him the smallest of the two wasn't saying much, they both towered over Knockout's new body by his entire height, and then some. He needed a way out of here, and he needed it fast.

“So… What do I do until the Autobots arrive?” Knockout asked.

Silence on the other end.

"Prowl?"

\-------

"Knockout!"

Prowl hissed as his comm went off suddenly. “Yes? What is it?”

“You are wanted on the command deck!” And with that rasped out order, Starscream tuned out.

Right as Knockout was in danger… Prowl made his way to the Nemesis' deck, still not yet daring to use his alt mode. Once he got there, he saw one of the similar looking Decepticons, a Vehicon, as Knockout told him, clutching at his chassis, a wound on the left side of it.

“I would guess that you want me to tend to him.” Prowl said.

Megatron spoke up, which never failed to make Prowl flinch. “It would appear as such, doctor. Take him to your infirmary.”

“Can you walk?” Prowl approached the Vehicon, holding out a servo.

“Yeah.” The Vehicon said, voice processor slightly ragged.

Perhaps that last inquiry sounded too caring, especially while the Decepticon high command was watching. Prowl retracted his hand briskly. “Good, then I don’t have to carry you! Right this way.”

The Vehicon obeyed, and the higher ups resumed their own talks and tasks without paying Prowl further attention. That much was a profound relief, but being unable to contact Knockout while having to repair his first patient was, to put it lightly, not very good.

\------

The concrete support beam wouldn’t give Knockout much cover for long. He could drive away, but what good would it do him against two planes? Especially as a sluggish two wheeler…

Speaking of the devil, Knockout decided to follow his advice. He contacted Optimus, since it just felt damn good to have the Autobot leader at his beck and call, and Primus knew he could use all the petty comforts he could right now.

“Optimus, come in, I’m in a bit of a situation!”

He didn't keep Knockout waiting, thankfully. “Prowl? What is it?”

“Lugnut and Blitzwing ambushed my location. Requesting back-up.”

“We’re on our way. Keep them off you until we get there.” Optimus said.

"Easier said than done..." Knockout mumbled as the call disconnected.

The two Decepticons were still arguing. Knockout seized that opportunity to hide behind a further column. One more move like that and he could access the freeway and escape with a head start, or even stay unseen until they both gave up.

"Look, an Autobot! He'll save us!" A tiny nasal voice came from several feet away. It was a repugnant human spawn, immediately getting hushed up and dragged to safety by its older guardian.

Knockout sneered. "Must you snitch?"

This had the extremely unfortunate and predictable effect of attracting Lugnut and Blitzwing's attention on him. Lugnut charged Knockout's location, while Blitzwing took back to the skies.

"There you are, Autobot scum!" Lugnut smashed a pillar that was in his way. The surface of it shattered and cracked, but the inner rebar still held it up.

This made Knockout change his plan. Going on the freeway wouldn't have done much against two flyers. So instead, he'd stay under the overpass, where the Decepticons couldn't use their alt modes, but he could drive around with relative ease.

The larger builds of his attackers were also an effective obstacle, as Lugnut got caught up between every column around him, trying and failing to destroy them all.

"Blitzwing!" He bellowed. "After him! He's escaping!"

Knockout braced himself for the possibility of Blitzwing being a decent enough flyer for these more precise manoeuvres. As he adjusted his rearview mirror, Knockout saw that his pursuer was now a tank, of the same colors that Blitzwing had.

"Odd, weren't you supposed to be a jet--"

A bright red laser bolt scuffed past him and into the ceiling further ahead. The grey pebbles clinked off Knockout's now much smaller windshield as he continued to ramp his meager speed up.

The tank cackled, in the same strange accent Blitzwing had. "Come out, little Autobot! Are you not tired of running and hiding yet?!"

Another laser beam narrowly missed its target as Knockout surmised as to Blitzwing's state with dread.

"A triple-changer..."

\-------

"So, how did you get hurt?"

Merely delaying the inevitable was to be something Prowl would have to get used to while he was stuck on this horrid vessel. He knew that he'd have to tend to a patient eventually, and he should be thanking the All Spark that it wasn't a higher ranking Decepticon that got injured.

"I was ordered to test the spacebridge after some new calibrations Shockwave made." The Vehicon said. "It worked normally about halfway through, and then I noticed the temperature around me rising quickly. I managed to get out with only this burn." The vehicon pointed at the wound on his chassis.

Prowl clenched his dental plates to mask his pity. "You're lucky it didn't completely scorch you. That would have made my job much harder."

The Vehicon didn't answer. That at least meant Prowl wouldn't have to risk navigating pointless banter. He reached for a data pad on the shelf. He could have sent Knockout a text missive, but it would be extremely cruel to do so while he was in a very perilous fight. Thankfully, he had a cover up plan, one he hoped would work.

"Anything unusual about the burn? Do you feel any other pain or discomfort?" Prowl asked.

The Vehicon's face was hard to read by its nature, but Prowl could still tell that he needed a moment to think. "No, but… I guess it's weird that only this area got burned, when everything else also got hotter."

Prowl hummed as he read the data pad. "Right. Just making sure that nothing else, uh, went wrong." A lie, of course. He was actually reading a section on how to treat basic burns. If the Vehicon did actually suffer any unforeseen ailments, Prowl had no way of knowing. A rather unfortunate fate, but one he literally could not remedy.

Thankfully the Vehicon didn't question anything. Prowl wondered if it was out of fear. From what he gathered, these so-called Vehicons were treated as little more than mindless drones. And yet they could clearly talk and think just like Prowl could. Unsurprising treatment coming from the Decepticons.

These were the questions that floated in Prowl's mind, instead of the task at hand. He got back to reading. The procedure seemed easy enough, just a matter of welding the shallow wound shut. The tool for the task was grabbed, and he hovered it over the problem area.

"Gah!" The Vehicon let out a pained cry. Prowl flinched. He looked back at the cauterizer and realized that the knob was dialed far too high.

Prowl made a show of dialing it lower. "Hmph. Sorry."

He remembered a human phrase he heard, from a commercial that played during one of Bumblebee's vapid action serials that he liked to watch so much.

'Fake it 'til you make it.'

\------

Knockout's tires were desperately squealing under him with every dodging turn he made. He gave the two-wheelers this much: balancing was indeed easier when going a hundred miles per hour. 

He didn't have much left of the overpass to hide under. He'd have to either take to the freeway, or double back, both terrible options.

Blitzwing's tank alt mode was rather sluggish, and Knockout had managed to put some distance between himself and the triple-changer. Not that it gave him any clearer answer as to what he should do, as he saw the ceiling getting lower and lower ahead of him.

The decision was more made out of sheer inertia than any further thinking, as Knockout opted to turn around. Hopefully Lugnut was still stuck in between two concrete pillars somewhere further back.

As expected, turning around meant a shorter distance between himself and Blitzwing. The latter saw the opportunity to take aim and fire. The shot from the canon missed, but a chunk of concrete still toppled Knockout over. He turned back into his robot mode, hoping the dust would conceal him. He tried to make a run for another pillar to duck behind.

"Hiding won't save you this time, Autobot." Blitzwing shot right ahead of Knockout, which made him stumble back and fall. If that wasn't bad enough, Lugnut had managed to free himself and was also running towards him.

What an unceremonious end to Knockout's little adventure. He flinched away as Blitzwing pointed his shoulder canons down at him.

That was promptly interrupted by a thrown axe burying itself into Blitzwing's arm.

"Arghh!!!" The Decepticon cried in pain while… His face switched around, for lack of a better term. An angry red face this time, one Knockout saw already. Triple changers were an odd bunch.

Anyway, yes, the red axe meant that Optimus was here, and presumably some other Autobots along with him. Great. Knockout got back up and dusted himself off. He already noticed so many nicks and dents that would need fixing.

"Prowl! Are you okay?" A shrill voice startled him. It was Bumblebee, or rather this universe's much more inadequate and annoying counterpart. Traded in the nice sporty alt mode for a functioning voice box… Disgusting.

"I'm fine, yes." Knockout hissed through his teeth.

Bumblebee did a thumbs up gesture. "Slag yeah you are, now that we're here!" He drove away, to avoid a greeting shot from Blitzwing's canons. The axe had been dislodged, and Optimus picked it up right before a yelling Lugnut made a dive for him.

Knockout didn't have more time to glower at Bumblebee, even from a distance. He had to get away from the Decepticons, even if the Autobots were handling things surprisingly well. Granted, Prowl wasn't exactly the… _pragmatic retreat_ type, but if Knockout had to fight as brazenly as him, then the ninja-cop-bot wouldn't have much of a body to come back to. And so, he decided to hide behind an old rusty car parked in the underpass' lot.

A head peeked out from Lugnut's towering mass, and the rubble and dust of battle. "Prowl! A little help?!" Optimus yelled out, just as Lugnut reached for him and threw him off his back.

Damn the Autobot leader to the Pits.

Knockout had made a show of clutching his right forearm. It was dented, but it wouldn't fool anyone into thinking it was a serious enough injury to fully incapacitate him. Maybe he should have let Blitzwing get in a free hit.

"Yes, I'm coming." Knockout said, rising from his cover. Bits of concrete flew past him, as he wondered how to even begin approaching such a large enemy. He was without his staff, his sawblade, his drill, nothing.

Lugnut was trying to push back against Optimus, who was using his wheels to dig himself in, axe in both hands, in turn pushing against Lugnut. It left the Decepticon preoccupied and unaware, and it gave Knockout an idea.

He ran towards the Decepticon and kicked him right in the jaw.

"Gahh!!" Lugnut stumbled back and shook his head, grasping it with his thick claws. Knockout slammed back down to the ground, which only made his foot hurt more. He winced, probably having gotten the worst injury out of the both of them.

Optimus turned to him, mouth covered by his battle mask. "Thanks, Prowl."

"Don't mention it." Knockout said, looking back at their foe.

Lugnut lurched backwards and snarled. He rose his clawed fist into the air. It transformed into something that looked like a large impact botton. "That's it! You Autobots will be turned to dust where you stand!"

The button started to beep rapidly.

That couldn't be good.

Just as Knockout was preparing to drive away, a loud voice sounded over Lugnut's intercom. Or maybe Blitzwing was so loud that he could be heard from a distance, even over Bumblebee's continuous taunting.

"And bury us under the bridge with them, you bolt-brained idiot?!"

This frankly perfectly reasonable objection on Blitzwing's part was enough to get Lugnut to reconsider. The button was encased back in the bomber's massive claws.

"Bah, you're right! We have other duties to attend!" Lugnut lumbered away, transformed and flew off, followed almost immediately by Blitzwing, giving up his relentless pursuit of Bumblebee.

Optimus sighed out in relief and slumped forward, his mask sliding to uncover his face. "Thank the All-Spark…"

Knockout chuckled. "I didn't know the All-Spark was in Blitzwing all along."

"Huh?!..." The Autobot leader looked stunned at the joke, until he got it. "Oh, because he stopped the explosion. Good one, Prowl."

Before Knockout could quip back further, Bumblebee sped by and came to an abrupt stop, transforming back into his robot mode. "Hey, Prowl, why were they chasing you anyway?"

Knockout shrugged. "Do they need a reason? I was on patrol, they saw me, and started shooting at me."

"They picked you out from the rest of the traffic?" Asked Optimus.

"They're not that clever. I was in my robot mode." Knockout left out Lugnut mentioning that they were on a mission of sorts. A small favor to his true faction, and to make up for the insult he just dealt out.

Optimus sighed. "You have to be more careful, Prowl. Ratchet was already stretched thin to begin with, but with the space bridge malfunctions, he's even busier now. I know you like to interact with the human world, but we should take extra precautions to--"

Oh Primus, more sermonizing about things that weren't any of Knockout's concerns, and all doled out by a greenhorn Optimus Prime of half his usual size and stature.

"--I guess we could patrol the north side of the city, but that would be pointless. We have to stay where the humans are and where we can protect them--"

Decent paint job, though. Shiny and red, with some blue and silver touches, just like the real deal. The yellow accents weren't a half bad idea either, if he said so himself.

"--I'm just glad that we got to you in time, and not a moment too soon--"

The same couldn't be said about the abdominal plates, but then again, few things compared to the real Optimus’ abdominal plates.

"--Anyway, good work team, back to base. Ratchet and Bulkhead could use some helping servos."

He was finally done. Bumblebee looked even more zoned out. "Oh, yeah, coming!"

Knockout followed them, eager to fix the dents and scratches of battle. "What a way to start things off in this horrible universe…" He mumbled, hopefully out of earshot.

\-------

The wound was patched up, a decent enough job, for Prowl's standards. His standards being "If energon isn't leaking from his body, then it’s good enough."

Now, if this were _Knockout's_ standards, the Decepticon doctor would most likely throttle him half to death for leaving all the soldering marks still visible. Prowl set about to rummage for the appropriate polishing tools.

When Prowl turned around, he saw that the Vehicon was shifting on the examination table, clearly preparing to dismount it.

"Is something the matter?" Prowl asked.

"You've already repaired me, sir." His response was quick, and he shifted back on the slab.

Prowl didn't really understand what was happening. He decided to play along, to let the Decepticon fill in the gaps himself. "Hmm, you're right, so I did." He shrugged and waved a hand, turning back to some shelved tools he was browsing through, pretending to know what any of their function or purpose was.

Some more shuffling from the table, followed by a thunk. The Vehicon simply left the infirmary.

Prowl immediately dialed Knockout's comm line.

"Yes, Cop-bot?"

Prowl frowned upon hearing the unsavory nickname, but he supposed that Knockout sounding alive and well was a good thing. That, and he had more urgent things to talk about. "Are you alright? Was anyone hurt?" He first asked.

"Miraculously enough, we all survived. Both Lugnut and Blitzwing only managed to dent my forearm." Knockout said.

"Thank the All-Spark. Sorry for dropping the call, I… I was summoned for a repair."

Knockout hummed. "I figured as much. What happened?"

Prowl could hear Knockout's engine, technically _his_ engine, rumbling. Where was the Decepticon heading, he wondered. Hopefully right back to the base.

"A Vehicon sustained a minor burn during a space bridge test--"

"Oh! Just a Vehicon… Well, that's fine then."

"I couldn't just leave him be!" Prowl said.

"Of course you couldn't… And be grateful it wasn't one of the higher ups you had to treat." Knockout said.

"Believe me, I know.” Prowl said. “Anyway, it went well, the wound appeared to be at surface level only, but before I could offer a polish, the Vehicon just up and left."

"What did you say to him?"

Prowl put the cauterizer back on the shelf. "I let him. I didn't want to object."

"You did the right thing." Knockout said.

"I did? But the Vehicons all appear to have quite a decent finish. Who fixes them?"

"Themselves, of course!" Knockout replied jovially. "The mere suggestion that I'd have time to fix up every dent and scratch they get on themselves, along with me already having to deal with the dismemberments and the shot wounds and the decapitations…"

“Things I will have the displeasure of dealing with now… Wait, decapitations? These Vehicons get hacked to pieces on the regular and just come back?”

“All the time! They’re a very resilient bunch, everyone knows that.”

Prowl sighed. He really shouldn’t be wasting his time on the oddities of a universe that wasn’t his. All he had to do was survive and get back home. “Fine..So what now?” “On your end, more medical datapads. As for me...” Prowl could hear Knockout lazily stretching from across the dimensional divide, despite him not currently being able to do so. “I’ll fix up these dents and then relax.” “How can you possibly relax at a time like this?!”

“I don’t know, Autobot, maybe that’s the only thing I can do after almost getting killed by my own faction!”

Prowl rubbed at his now more pointy and more elevated optic brow ridge. “Don’t you at least have questions for me, before something disastrous happens?”

Knockout hummed. “I did, actually. As we got back to the base, Bumblebee said something about me meeting up with… A _human_ named Sari? Took me a while to realize it was a name, sounds a lot like sorr-” Prowl interrupted him, snarling. “If you let _any_ harm come to her…” “Yes, yes, I won’t hurt your precious little human pets. Not on purpose, anyway. Now, what do I have to actually do to her-- with her?”

Prowl groaned, but he had to cooperate. "I promised I'd take her shopping after her school lessons. I'll give you the address."

Knockout scoffed as he looked over the coordinates, pointing him to a typical human store aggregate. "How inane… Is this what really revs you Autobots' engines?"

"Better than wanton acts of violence and destruction." Prowl said plainly.

"And that's where you're wrong again!" Knockout laughed, in Prowl's voice, just as unsettling as the first time it happened. "Oh, another question, if you would be so kind; where can I find some paint and polish supplies? You seem to be all out."

"I just go to the police station from where my alt mode came from." Prowl said.

"Let the brutish human law enforcement touch me?! Absolutely not, I'll take the supplies and run!"

"If you want to do it yourself, just ask them for the equipment, _please_ don't land me in unnecessary trouble this soon…" Prowl angrily pleaded.

"Don't be so panicky. I can exercise restraint when it comes to my paint job." Knockout said.

Prowl changed the subject matter with a groan. "Any thoughts on how we got to be here to begin with?"

"Yes, Autobot, I meditated extensively on the subject of trans-dimensional shifting right between adjusting to a totally new universe and getting shot at by two heavily armed flyers."

"You were stuck in traffic for three hours." Prowl said.

"Pardon me if I reached no significant revelation while away from both the Decepticon database and my own datapads. The only thing of note that happened was me indulging in the 2036 top chart hits. Quite a general downgrade from 2011, I must say."

"Wait, the Decepticon database… I have access to it?" Prowl asked.

It was Knockout's turn to sound nervous. "Sort of... While I do have near-total security clearance, access is monitored, so you can't go around searching for anything too suspicious. In fact, considering it's Soundwave doing the monitoring, it might be best that you don't look up anything until I give the go-ahead."

A fair enough caution to take, so Prowl agreed. "Very well. What about your datapads?"

"There's one that comes to mind. 'A Treatise On The Existence Of Multiple Universes', by Perceptor. I'm giving you the title of the abridged edition, because even an Autobot shouldn't have to suffer reading the full text." Knockout said.

Prowl smiled a bit. "That sounds like Perceptor, all right. Glad to hear he hasn't changed much."

"He's also very, very dead!"

Prowl was frowning now. "You enjoy doing this far too much, Decepticon."

Knockout laughed. "Indeed I do! Happy reading, Autobot!"

Horrible. Still, the Decepticon was right. They both couldn't confess their predicaments to anyone, they only had each other for help, and the more Prowl could learn, the better.

The comm line clicked back on. "Uh, yes, just where exactly is the police station you get your supplies at?..." Knockout asked.

"1806 East, Nine Mile Road, near Hazel Park." Prowl said.

"Yes, thank you." Knockout mumbled before once again disconnecting. His tone was a lot more terse as soon as he had to come back and ask for help. 

Decepticons and their pettiness...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ ](https://imgur.com/NcUlOtJ)
> 
> Knockout definitely has his priorities in order, yup.


End file.
